Gettin’ That Old Time NASCAR Religion

By Marc, Thunder Lounge
Published on Thunder Lounge.

Ah… dem was da days!

The only massaging a stock car body received (aero what!?) was when in very close contact with a competitor or when rim riding, ala Richard Petty as he led the way at Darlington collecting the infamous “Stripe” along the way. As The King said at the time, “We drove for the sheer fun of driving because there wasn’t that much money to be made.”

It was a time of short-sleeve driving attire, 8 inch wide Firestones and the Pure Oil Company being the official supplier of fuel. Did I mention all the Victory Lane kisses given by the Winston Girls or “Winkie Louise”, representing Pure Oil Co. as Miss Firebird?

If any of that sounds familiar, or you have a desire to see some of NASCAR’s past legends live and in action on track 2008 may just be the year for it.

The Old School Racing Champions Tour (OSRCT) has announced a 10 race schedule starting May 18, 2008 at Concord Motor Speedway.

Racing legends David Pearson, Dave Marcis, Harry Gant, James Hylton, Geoff Bodine have all signed to compete. On the probable list are NASCAR stars Jack Ingram, Derrike Cope, Phil Parsons, Robert Pressley, Dave Marcis, Joe Ruttman, Chuck Bown, Randy LaJoie, Carl Long and Ronnie Silver.

From the ranks of ARCA comes Bill Venturini, Bob Schacht and the new owner of The Rock Andy Hillenburg.

The OSRCT will debut at the Concord Motor Speedway in Concord, North Carolina with a 10 race schedule. A champion will be crowned at the New Smyrna Speedway in February of 2009 during a Last Chance and Championship Race.

With an eye towards safety all events will be held on tracks of less the ¾ of a mile in length to keep speeds down and allow for greater fender-to-fender action. And you can bet with the dirt track at Eldora, the high bank quarter mile at Flat Rock Mi, in addition to South Boston in Virginia the schedule provides just that.

This PDF file provides the full run down on the cars, stars and venues as currently planned.

This series has me so intrigued it’s almost worth looking into a trip back stateside to catch a couple events. For those of you not stuck out in the middle of the Pacific like I am, and hold a interest in NASCAR’s past history, shouldn’t miss this opportunity to catch at least one of the 12 events.

Share your thoughts!.

Filed Under: Busch Series, Marc Boland, Nascar, Nascar History





Trackback URL for: Gettin’ That Old Time NASCAR Religion

By Marc, Thunder Lounge
Tuesday October 16, 2007
7:11pm CDT
Published on Thunder Lounge.

Kyle Petty has something to say about the current state of affairs in NASCAR and how many of its fans view the sport:

“I really want to know what is it that race fans want,’’ Petty says, noting the fan uproar about racing at Bristol and Talladega, which both used the COT.

“I’m not really sure that they even know what they want. I think they’ve been sold a bill of goods on what racing used to be. Racing wasn’t always 43 cars under a blanket. Racing was Bill Elliott winning Talladega by a lap on the field.’’

There it is, the clear unvarnished truth.

Richard Petty once won a race after going 3 laps down, and his winning margin was 7 LAPS! In case you didn’t catch that, in effect he was 10 laps better than everyone else in the field.

If that were to happen today, there would be an insurrection in the grandstands as the laps wound down. A few brown bottle tossed Jeffy’s way would be mild in comparison. Yet the sky is falling around NASCAR Nation because OMG, someone leads the most laps and wins a race by 2 seconds!

I read a recent suggestion and long discussion the Chase should provide a process of elimination. A loss and you out sort of thing similar to a baseball or football playoff.

Sounds crazy I know, even crazier is the idea was floated by someone who’s “Anti-Chase Mantra” is “why do they wanna make NASCAR like other sports?” You figure it out, I damn sure can’t, and feel no great need to delve into the convoluted logic it takes to hold those two positions.

As you know the fan base discontent doesn’t end there, it touches on the shifting make-up of the financial side of the sport. The flurry of partnerships and mergers this season is unprecedented in the sport.

The deals give each team more money and resources, making the cost to start a team from scratch almost prohibitive. To be a part of NASCAR, someone almost has to buy into a team. The question is, is that a good thing or bad for the sport?

Joe Gibbs has tentative (tentative because the fallout from all the changes are yet to be felt) answer for that:

“To me, that’s a good thing,’’ said J.D. Gibbs, president of Joe Gibbs Racing, which will switch from Chevrolet to Toyota next season. “I’ve got value in my team. Five, six, seven years ago, there was not much value in your team.’’

WOW, value in a race team. What a concept.

In previous days the “value” in a race team was regained the only way possible, via an auction of the assembled parts that were bought by other teams for pennies on the dollar.

If Gibbs is right team owners have equity, something they’ve never had before. Also, it may put on hold any thoughts some may have of starting some type of franchising in NASCAR.

With all the changes on the financial side of NASCAR it’s way too early to make any definitive judgment, that may take years to get any real feel for them.

I’m willing to wait and see, unfortunately many are not, some have already tossed France and NASCAR under the bus transporter.

Share your thoughts!.

Filed Under: Damn Good Points, Marc Boland, Nascar, The Soapbox





Trackback URL for: A Public Service Message for Disgruntled NASCAR Fans

By Marc, Thunder Lounge
Monday October 8, 2007
9:57pm CDT
Published on Thunder Lounge.

Just as he did a couple months back Ray Evernham has “come clean” over his workplace dalliance with ARCA RE/MAX driver Erin Crocker.

Crocker competed at Talladega in Evernham’s Mac Tools Dodge finishing 18^th and wrapped up the series’ Superspeedway Challenge Title that includes events held at Daytona, Nashville, Kentucky, Pocono, Michigan, Kansas, Gateway, Chicagoland and Talladega.

After the event Evernham said Crocker still is trying to put together a deal to run next season in the Craftsman Truck, Busch Nationwide or ARCA series.

“There could be some partnerships for her to run the whole ARCA series,” Evernham said. “We’re going to do everything we can to help her move on, and hopefully people will take her more seriously when she’s off on her own.”

Ok Ray, for the second time we get it. You’re sorry for being an asshat on the job and your sorry. As a result you’re attempting to make amends by assisting her in her job search for 2008 and beyond.

But I question his dedication to the job at hand. Look at what Ray provided for Crocker to compete with at Talladega:

“The car we brought was not a great car and not a great engine, and we didn’t have time to prepare or work on it,” Evernham said. “We knew we had to finish 20th or better, and we rode around the back and that didn’t work for us. And 40 laps to go, she had to get up there and race. It was pretty nerve wracking.

“I hope that people take notice of the things she has done.”

Ray… what else did you have to do? It’s not like you had one, two or three cars in NASCAR’s Chase.

Granted last Friday there were still 7 events left in the NASCAR year and Dodge provides millions to GEM to compete in and that part of his operation should take priority.

I’ll also concede Crocker only needed to place 20^th or higher to clinch the ARCA Superspeedway title, but still, wouldn’t it have been better to provide the best possible equipment to run during one of the premier events on the ARCA schedule?

I’m of the opinion Crocker could have had “people take notice” in a far more favorable light if she could have won at Talladega vice riding around the back.

Crocker’s job search equation breaks down this way; What would gain more press coverage, an ARCA Superspeedway Challenge Title or the first ever female winner in a major stock car circuit on one of the showcase ovals in America?

Something doesn’t compute.

Ray, you’re not even trying and Erin got screwed again! This time with her firesuit on!

Cross posted @ Full Throttle.

Share your thoughts!.

Filed Under: Marc Boland, Nascar, Talladega, The Soapbox, The Way I See It





Trackback URL for: Ray Evernham “Films” a Sequel

By Marc, Thunder Lounge
Thursday September 6, 2007
2:48pm CDT
Published on Thunder Lounge.

To borrow, and butcher someone else’s phrase; You can satisfy some of the people some of the time, but you can’t satisfy all of the people all of the time.

What brought me to this not so startling conclusion is a couple days looking at NASCAR headlines and stories as we head into NASCAR final “regular season” event at Richmond.

Here is one example that is fairly accurate and representative of various sources that all play on the same theme, the new Chase with 12 teams admitted to the party has “ruined” Richmond.

“Chase playoff rules strip drama from race.” The gist of this article is based on a hypothetical:

“Had the series headed to race No. 26 at Richmond under the original Chase rules, four drivers separated by 38 points would go into this weekend’s Chevy Rock and Roll 400 battling for the last two spots.”

This is where I insert, “yeah but,” the Beloved One would be 161 points behind and not hanging by the thread of 128 points as he is now.

Put another way, a virtual certainty vice as least a thread of hope. And here’s another “but,” that offers a bit of drama, Junior has won three times at Richmond, including his last Cup win in May 2006.

It’s also appropriate to highlight the words of Tony Stewart at this point:

“It’s nice coming here [Richmond] and knowing that if it comes down to a fuel-mileage race this weekend that we can take a chance like we did at Kansas City and go for those 10 points versus not being locked in like we were last year and fighting at this time, so it’s definitely taken a lot of the stress and the pressure off, for sure,”

So, Tony is in a position to lay caution to the wind and go for broke in order to gain the 10 bonus points that go with it.

That sounds like drama and potential excitement to me. In addition Johnson and Gordon will not only try gain another 10 bonus points for themselves but have a wary eye on Stewart as well. If they can’t get the points they may try to block, by whatever means, Smoke from getting them.

Then there’s Tony’s teammate Denny Hamlin. He’s locked up a Chase spot but Richmond is his home track. He has two top-five finishes and three top 10s in three previous Richmond races. He finished second in May ‘06 and third last May.

If anyone thinks Hamlin will be stroking at his home tack, with nothing to lose, I’ve got a nuclear powered Vegamatic to sell you.

To reiterate my lede, “you can satisfy some of the people some of the time, but you can’t satisfy all of the people all of the time.” (But you can satisfy people for 16 straight years.)

And some people have so little ambition or imagination they have to gin up some phony tripe about how Richmond isn’t Richmond anymore.

Say, I have an idea… let’s just shut down Richmond. Then Fontana could be the end of the regular season. By most accounts the place already sucks, might as well add to its misery right?

But then the whiners would manufacture another reason wouldn’t they?

“It’s always something — if it isn’t one thing, it’s another.” - Roseanne Rosanna Dana

UPDATE: As noted the other day ISC had widdled down potential buyers for its now useless (to them) Staten Island site.

The decision is made, ISC confirmed it had reached a preliminary agreement to sell its land to ProLogis, the world’s largest developer of distribution warehouses. As Staten Island Advance notes distribution warehouses are “places that are also magnets for trucks” and “the entertainment value is nil.”

The feared flood of fans on race weekends will be replaced by a steady stream of trucks to the site, minus the fun and brand-name sponsorships. Former Borough President Guy Molinari who once worked as a lobbyist for the racetrack proposal, stopped short yesterday of saying, “I told you so.”

To which I’ll add, Buwawawahahaha, SOME PEOPLE, get exactly what they deserve. (read the rest of the Advance article, ISC warned these idiots what would happen and now it has)

Join the discussion.

Filed Under: Dale Earnhardt Junior, Denny Hamlin, Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson, Marc Boland, Nascar, Nextel Cup, Richmond, The Water Cooler





Trackback URL for: Some People!

By Marc, Thunder Lounge
Wednesday August 8, 2007
4:20am CDT
Published on Thunder Lounge.

How NASCAR operates before, during and after an event is always under scrutiny.

Condemnation comes from all sides. Fans, the press (both “beat reporters” and drive-bys that don’t now their ass from their hat) and those of us in the racing blogosphere, commonly called The Exalted, all take shots at Peoples Commissar of NASCAR Affairs (a/k/a Brian France) & Co on a regular basis.

Much of the column space and bandwidth is devoted to how NASCAR’s troop of inspectors go about their jobs and it’s not often one gets a chance to hear their side.

Well, thanks to Meredith Long of the The Sporting News we have that opportunity. What follows is a Q & A session Long conducted with NASCAR inspector Jim Wagner-Brownell.

(NOTE: Wagner-Brownell is real, his answers have been edited for “brevity.” Some would call it “literary license” or “artistic expression,” I’ll stick with brevity.)

How did you get started in NASCAR?

“Well Meredith, originally I wanted to be an optometrist but soon discovered I suffered from an extreme case of myopia, a condition of the eye in which objects can only be seen distinctly when near to the eye. In my case a 1/4 inch close. I always enjoyed NASCAR and figured, damn those cars are SO BIG myopia wouldn’t be a problem.”

What is the craziest thing you’ve seen on pit road?

“Oh wow, there’s so many things. One time Dick Trickle tossed a Depends out of his window and it hit the jackman square in the face. That one cost 15 seconds getting those sticky strips off his face before the car got off the ground.

“Then there was the time Mark Martin lost a minute and a half thanking his crew for the 13 second stop 40 laps previously. A real gentleman that Martin.”

What is the hardest part about your job?

“You have to ask? It’s that damnable Mythical Rulebook!” It changes more often than Lohan hits rehab.”

“And then… then there’s that CORN thing. They roll one into the inspection stall and I get the overwhelming feeling I’m Dr. Frankenstein as that crab-like thing encloses it! It’s gotten so bad I’ve retained Dr. Phil for the 2008 season when the CORN goes full time!”

What is the one thing you see that doesn’t pass inspection the most?

“The Mythical Rulebook. With every reprinting it contains more spelling errors, grammatical faux pas and the worst part, each edition has another chapter printed in disappearing ink! I suspect by the 2010 season the entire thing will look like Saran Wrap”

“Oh, did I mention Jet Fuel Meredith? It fails every time.”

There you have it, the ever elusive NASCAR Inspector, unplugged! The Half-Vast Staff of Thunder Lounge would like to thank Meredith Long for this rare chance to get behind the scenes.

WAY, behind the scenes!

Share your thoughts!.

Filed Under: Marc Boland, Nascar, Ridiculous Posts, The People Of Nascar





Trackback URL for: The Great NASCAR Inspector Inqusition!

By Marc, Thunder Lounge
Wednesday July 25, 2007
7:09pm CDT
Published on Thunder Lounge.

This is a follow on to a previous post at my other place of unemployement, Wishing You Were Brian France.

In it I opined many of the head honchos of America’s major sports might hold a bit of jealousy in their hearts for Brian France’s position based on the current scandals enveloping them recently.

This missive takes the opposite view.

Not withstanding France’s possession of “palm tree debris” and “sodas” while navigating condominium parking lots, NASCAR’s CEO has led a rather charmed life during his tenure. The sport is still number two and despite the slight down turn in viewership recently it remains the sport of choice for viewers on most weekends of the year.

Read this as a cautionary tale. Or if you so choose, pure BS. (a decision made while head is planted in sand)

Two of the current scandals on front pages from NYC to Kookamunga are a NBA referee’s ties to gambling and the NFL’s Bad Newz problem.

Both have a common thread, gambling. That connection is plain to see in the NBA’s case but I have seen some commentary that gives me an indication not everyone understands what drives the evil “sport” of dog fighting.

Without the ability to gamble on the outcome of dogfights the activity would be virtually nonexistent.

At this point I have no idea what NASCAR’s or ISC’s stance on gambling by its credential holders is. Obviously any illegal gambling would fall under the catchall of both the morals clause contained in every contract and Sections of The Mythical Rulebook 12-4-A (actions detrimental to stock car racing).

Beyond that I’m clueless. If anyone has heard or read of a more public stance by NASCAR officials drop the reference in the comment section.

I’m also unaware whether NASCAR has taken any preemptive action.

For example, the NFL allows FBI and other law enforcement personnel into the training camps to lecture teams on the pervasive nature of gambling and how easy it is to fall prey to the less than desirables that operate on the periphery of the industry.

I’m not sure if this policy is in effect for NASCAR, again if you know, straighten me out.

Before some of you may consider this as a “sky is falling” scenario, save it. It’s much better to assume the worst than wait until your view is obscured by “clouds” that have already fallen. Unfortunately, NASCAR has a habit of reacting, not acting on many occasions.

NASCAR has operated close to the gambling industry for a number of years. Holding events in Las Vegas is the most visible manifestation of that but there have been a few instances of race teams having secondary sponsors of casinos and the like.

Nothing wrong with that. It’s the scumbags, lowlifes, and at the risk of getting a knock on my door by “Guido,” The Mob types that orbit around legal gambling where the problem is.

Gambling on NASCAR is becoming big business. Select your search engine of choice and enter “NASCAR Gambling,” if you have any doubts. (Gordon & Johnson are co-favorites at 5/1 to win the Allstate 400)

(Speculation alert: What follows is pure fantasy but very plausible)

Despite the fallacy of NASCAR personnel being rednecks with IQ’s somewhere south of the Great Apes the majority are highly educated and that has led many of them to be very large fans of their alma mater’s basketball and college football teams.

Say, for example, a pit crew member of the #011 Adult Diapers Chevy gets into heavy debt to his bookie betting on his alma mater’s football team after a 2 and 10 season.

“Bonaventura the Bookie” is becoming increasingly upset with the several thousand dollar marker owed since late November and goes to said pit crew member in mid-January with an “offer he can’t refuse.”

Pay up, or sabotage the current betting favorite #011 Adult Diapers Chevy during the Daytona 500. Failure to comply will be at the risk of three broken legs. (the “third” being the most important to this young stud)

From there it’s easy to envision a dropped jack at the most inopportune time sending the #011 from first to 32nd, introducing a “slow leak” in a tire during a stop (don’t think something similar can’t happen? Think again.) or other performance degrading activity.

It’s all too easy for a single crew member to make a driver go from hero to zero in the span of a few laps. There’s a small margin between the two, a margin closed with such ease to be almost laughable.

NASCAR Nation has its share of caution flag/team favoritism Conspiracy Nuts, the last thing NASCAR needs is anything that even smells of a races outcome being altered for the sake of bets made on an event.

It goes without saying if it ever happens Brian France will wish he weren’t Brian France.

As said earlier, this is a cautionary tale but one that should, and better, be taken seriously by France and the ISC (and it’s share holders). If they have ignored the problem (something they have a habit of doing) mores the pity, they deserve the same treatment the NFL and NBA are getting now.

UPDATE: Hardly a surprising comment from Greg Biffle who has made plain his animal rights advocacy: “Just put him in prison and tell the general public, just give them all the details of what they do with those dogs,” Biffle said. “How they steal people’s dogs out of their front yards and use them for bait dogs and let other dogs kill them. There’s all the horrifying stories. You look at all the pictures on the Internet of the dogs, just maimed, mangled. It’s horrible.”

Nothing I can add except this, the NFL, and NASCAR better look at the gambling that fuels the cock fighting “industry.”

Share your thoughts!.

Filed Under: Marc Boland, Nascar, Nextel Cup, The Soapbox, The Way I See It





Trackback URL for: Do You REALLY Want to be Brian France?

By Marc, Thunder Lounge
Tuesday July 17, 2007
8:10pm CDT
Published on Thunder Lounge.

The week after Friday the Thirteenth has brought incredible good luck! Just imagine finding not one, but two sets of very important keys within hours of their loss.

The first instance of good fortune was the discovery of a set of keys that led to my freedom from the “overseers” at my usual place of unemployment.

No sooner had I secured my release via a dark tunnel lined with auto racing posters spanning 50 years of history I was confronted by a neon sign flashing the words Thunder Lounge. Just below that gaudy display was a man standing with a help wanted sign.

Overlooking for the moment his suit that was obviously rented from Ten Buck Suits R Us I inquired what type of help he was looking for.

Introducing himself as Luke, proprietor of Thunder Lounge, he said due to circumstances beyond his control he was unable to provide the amount of content and the entertainment that content usually provides to his cliental at Thunder Lounge.

Luke then proceeded to lay out a “litany of restrictions” on what could and could not be part of Thunder Lounge’s menu. Then my second stroke of luck occurred.

As Luke read me the riot act a key ring slipped through a hole in his right suit pocket. As I pretended to listen the words “Thunder Lounge” glinted in the moonlight from a shiny key fob attached to the set of keys.

Never one to pass up an opportunity, and singing the praises or Ten Buck Suits R Us, I declined Luke’s offer with thoughts of snatching the keys and rummaging around the place late at night.

And it worked, Luke walked away dejected and I’m in! And the best part of all I’m unencumbered by any restrictions Luke attempted to place on me. So standby, you may be seeing a whole lot more of me in the next few days, weeks and if undetected years!

I may even make a copy or two of the keys and pass them around to a friend or two.

On a side note, despite Luke’s ruminations to the contrary I have it on semi-official authority, attributed to anonymous sources, Luke isn’t over worked. He’s been thumped on the head by NASCAR’s version of Thor’s Hammer.

Word is he’s been suspended under NASCAR’s Mythical Rulebook Section 12-4-A, “actions detrimental to stock car racing.” The exact violation hasn’t been detailed but indications are Luke was seen in the Texas Motor Speedway infield selling cheap copies of the Mythical Rulebook while wearing a gold tin foil hat.

Hopefully the suspension will point Luke towards acting in a straight and narrow manner.

If not… well you got me!

4 comments. Add your 2 cents!.

Filed Under: Guest Authors, Marc Boland, Nascar





Trackback URL for: Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!